It’s a chilly Sunday morning and I’m in good spirits. I got to sleep in a bit and no hangover in sight. Proper setting for some productive writing. Enter Detroit, Michigan’s Wilson and their sophomore recording, Right to Rise (Razor & Tie).

At first listen you can expect to think that this album is a parody of the muzak currently branding rock radio unlistenable. Lyrically this is the world’s greatest collection of Hard Rock clichés and buzzwords. Some select examples to illustrate my point: “Gasoline pumping through our veins.” “All my friends are dead,” “Can you satisfy me?” “Motor City,” “Right to rise!” What the hell does “Right to Rise” mean, anyways?

But to complement those wonderful nuggets of insight, the playing on Right to Rise makes Hellyeah sound like Rush in comparison. Slab after slab of midtempo rock pounds your brain into submission. And that is not to be mistaken as praise. ‘Windows Down!’ and ‘All My Friends’ are truly the work of a collective that thoroughly enjoys the Jagermeister, pot and tits that come with stardom, but only put forward the most minimal of efforts to reach those perks. Right to Rise belongs in a Dadrock starter pack alongside a pre-owned Corvette, gaudy Affliction clothing and Just for Men Mustache & Beard dye.

And I gave Wilson a fair shake. I spent a good portion of my Sunday re-listening to Right to Rise. Default angry track ‘All My Friends’ comes close to passable as it recalls Godsmack in their more relevant days. ‘The Flood’ has a Billy Squier vibe to it, so that’s gotta mean something, right? Late in the second half of the album ‘I Am the Fly’ and ‘Give ‘Em Hell’ attempt to break up the monotony by throwing in short guitar solos and leads sporadically.

I get it. Your shtick is “Full Blast Fuckery” (again, whatever the hell that means) and living the rock & roll lifestyle. That being said, why are you so opposed to using some of the most basic rock songwriting tools? You know like, dynamics, solos or memorable melodies.

So there you have it. The soundtrack to the Guy Fieri revolution. Full throttle!

2.0/10

HANSEL LOPEZ