Launching their seventh album in twelve years, with Trust In Rust (Napalm), German a-cappella metal artisans Van Canto are continuing their mission to stretch a novelty idea to the fullest extent.

If you have yet to come across Van Canto, let me save you some bother. Hit up YouTube, check out their covers of Manowar’s ‘Kings of Metal’ and Iron Maiden’s ‘Fear Of The Dark’, have a little chuckle to yourself, share them on to some unsuspecting folks who should enjoy them, and then leave be, for while there is a certain amount of respect to give in that Van Canto have managed to make a living from vocally performing instruments (although there are real-life drums and bass underneath the mouth-made-“metal”), and having a sizable fanbase, there are plenty of examples that popularity doesn’t equal quality, and there must surely come a point when the curiosity runs dry and that cat be damn dead.

See, Van Canto’s dubious highlights have always been their covers. Yet Trust In Rust tests even that theory with a lacklustre walk-through of Helloween’s ‘Ride The Sky’ and a pedestrian ‘Hells Bells’ (AC/DC). Yet as uninspired as these versions may be, they still manage to exceed the original material around them in terms of quality as, sadly, their own work wouldn’t even be good heavy metal songs if they were played on the correct instruments. While co-leads Inga Scharf and Hagan Hirschmann are clearly talented enough vocally to cut the mustard in a proper power metal band, their unimaginative and obvious melody lines and patterns may hold them back there too.

Once the initial impact of their “differentness” has worn off (and that happened a few years ago), the truth is that this way of doing things lacks any power or energy, particularly as Van Canto’s original material is inoffensive and unmemorable. There are only so many times (twice, to be honest), where hearing a grown adult singing “dun-riddly-diddly-riddly-diddly-dun” to imitate guitar picking is funny.

Maybe the Bee Gees aren’t the only ones who started a joke that started the whole world crying…

4.0/10

STEVE TOVEY